just came back from rock youth movement, aka the youth (grades 6-12) ministry from my church...
amazing worship, message, prayer, etc... but just the sense of brokenness and emptiness was so evident and heartbreaking.
i had to lead one of the discussion groups and there were these two girls, obviously not wanting to be there... flat expressions and all. isolation. texting while i'm speaking, etc. just so much darkness. didn't say a word, didn't care. it was almost kinda scary..
but i know that there's hope. i was once in their shoes. and so i pray that all that brokenness in that room tonight may just be replaced by God's grace. that whatever pain they are currently encountering, that the blood of Christ has atoned for it. He has and will redeem for those He has mercy upon.
so i'm really trying my hardest not to take tonight's experience so personally. i haven't lead any sort of discussion/done a leadership role in SO long, so it's just really crazy... i felt like i was talking to a wall, but i know that God's presence was there. it's impossible for Him not to be.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
your love never fails
it never gives up, it never runs out on me...
hahahah i haven't written anything in so. long.
i have a lot of things on my mind, both good and bad.
but overall, i cannot fathom how much God has blessed me. it's seriously unbelievable. His love goes on and on while everything else in this world has an end. finite vs infinite. everlasting vs perishable.
i absolutely love my church. everything that my life was lacking and that God was calling me towards has seriously been fulfilled and confirmed at my church. i'm finally singing... or at least in the process of overcoming my irrational fear of singing in public/leading. sharing my testimony in hopes that it might reach out to somebody, somewhere struggling... kind of like a role model, but all the credit belongs to the Lord. learning more about Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit, who He is and who He isn't... becoming educated on what other world religions/cults teach and what makes Christianity so specific and relevant in contrast to the rest.
it gets nerve-wracking at times, no doubt. sometimes i fall into the "i can't" mindset and am too afraid to take responsibility or any action for anything.... but then i just try and remind myself - our God is a working God. He doesn't approve of laziness or self-loathing, all He wants is for us to surrender our lives to Him and obey Him like a child obeys their parents. and what just seriously blows my mind, is His unfailing love. as humans, we tend to get lazy and selfish and etc., but we have to remember that we serve a constantly working, and unbelievably selfless God. the creator of the universe! all things formed in the palm of His hand. sometimes it's soo hard for me to grasp onto the idea of that... then again i know that my brain does not work the way that God's does haah.
i'm a tiny piece of clay and He is the potter.
He could easily crush me or void me from ever existing,
yet He blessed me with an opportunity to live, breathe, love, and tell all the other pieces of clay how much our Potter cares for us and what promises He holds for us when we choose to follow Him. when we stop trying to look within ourselves and look up to see just how much more He has for us... His great, amazing, righteous, majestic unfailing love.
it seriously just amazes me
hahahah i haven't written anything in so. long.
i have a lot of things on my mind, both good and bad.
but overall, i cannot fathom how much God has blessed me. it's seriously unbelievable. His love goes on and on while everything else in this world has an end. finite vs infinite. everlasting vs perishable.
i absolutely love my church. everything that my life was lacking and that God was calling me towards has seriously been fulfilled and confirmed at my church. i'm finally singing... or at least in the process of overcoming my irrational fear of singing in public/leading. sharing my testimony in hopes that it might reach out to somebody, somewhere struggling... kind of like a role model, but all the credit belongs to the Lord. learning more about Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit, who He is and who He isn't... becoming educated on what other world religions/cults teach and what makes Christianity so specific and relevant in contrast to the rest.
it gets nerve-wracking at times, no doubt. sometimes i fall into the "i can't" mindset and am too afraid to take responsibility or any action for anything.... but then i just try and remind myself - our God is a working God. He doesn't approve of laziness or self-loathing, all He wants is for us to surrender our lives to Him and obey Him like a child obeys their parents. and what just seriously blows my mind, is His unfailing love. as humans, we tend to get lazy and selfish and etc., but we have to remember that we serve a constantly working, and unbelievably selfless God. the creator of the universe! all things formed in the palm of His hand. sometimes it's soo hard for me to grasp onto the idea of that... then again i know that my brain does not work the way that God's does haah.
i'm a tiny piece of clay and He is the potter.
He could easily crush me or void me from ever existing,
yet He blessed me with an opportunity to live, breathe, love, and tell all the other pieces of clay how much our Potter cares for us and what promises He holds for us when we choose to follow Him. when we stop trying to look within ourselves and look up to see just how much more He has for us... His great, amazing, righteous, majestic unfailing love.
it seriously just amazes me
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